SHATTERING GENDER STEREOTYPES AT AN EARLY AGE

Today, the world in the 21st century is progressing and so are the people. We are being exposed to new and different ideas that were alien to us a few years ago. We as a society are evolving and it makes it all the more important to start the conversation about gender stereotypes and roles with our kids while they’re young so that we can prevent the wrong beliefs from setting in. Even though we call today’s generation to be “modern and woke” it always follows with a question of are we really “modern” and moving forward ethically? However, what is more important is, how are we as parents influencing our child’s development and whether or not we set the right examples for them?

In this article we will be talking about the gender stereotypes that are being followed and how to avoid the same with kids.

Gender and sexuality are often confused as similar but they are very different from each other, hence to learn about “gender stereotypes” it is important to first break down the difference and understand gender and sexuality as two separate topics to get a clear idea.

GENDER: Gender is the psychological aspect of being male or female. It mostly defines “socially constructed” roles and behaviours of an individual.

SEXUALITY: sexuality refers to a person’s sexual attraction and affection for members of either the opposite or the same sex.

WHAT ARE GENDER STEREOTYPES?

In simple terms, gender stereotype is a concept about males and females that assigns various characteristics to them on the basis of nothing more than being male or female.

We have always been conditioned by societal values about gender and the functions an individual is supposed to perform just on the basis of their gender. Little do we realize that gender and sexuality is a wider and deeper concept than what our understanding of it looks like on the surface. In today’s time, as a parent it is very important for you to know and understand the difference and also a responsibility from your end to avoid these stereotypes and project a more gender-neutral behaviour in front of your kids as this heavily affects the way they grow up and kids need to understand that they are more than just their gender.

Children never understand gender and sexuality by themselves. Nor do they learn the stereotypes all by themselves. The environment that they grow up in, influences their ideas about certain things. It is almost impossible to avoid them getting exposed to these stereotypes because of the society that they live in. But it is very much possible to bust these stereotypes within them at an early age and help them think from a broader perspective.

5 WAYS TO AVOID GENDER STEREOTYPES:

• DISRUPT GENDER STEREOTYPES AT HOME: The first lessons, habits and behaviour a child learns are from his home. Thus, the very first step starts from their home and from you as parents. There should not be any “defined roles” in the house. Cooking should not be meant just for girls and car washing not only for boys. Give equal work to your kids and teach them to take responsibilities regardless of who they are. Project the right kind of behaviour in front of them to be followed. Both the parents should be seen working in the kitchen and in the office so that the kids don’t feel that their gender has a power to limit them in any way.
• PROPER LANGUAGE: Our language really shows what we think or expect from someone. Using sentences in front of our kids such as “boys should be strong” or “don’t cry like a girl” really delivers a wrong message of what you think. It should be your priority as a parent to watch out your language. Try using more gender-neutral pronouns such as they/them. Be on the lookout for statements that start with “all girls” or “all boys” to avoid indulging in stereotyping.
• LET TOYS BE TOYS: We often come across parents putting up labels for even toys! Why are cars only meant to be played by boys and barbies by girls? Let your child select their own toy because it is useless and even immoral to label a toy on the basis of gender. Be okay with your boy playing with Barbie and your girl having an obsession for cars if they feel like it. You should make sure that you normalize this and make your kids realize that it is okay to like anything and everything. In the same way, assigning colours should be stopped by parents. There shouldn’t be a definite colour such as pink for girls and blue for boys. Let just colours be colours and allow them to like whatever they do.
• SOCIAL MEDIA CHECK: Kids often consume knowledge from movies and social media and it has its own pros and cons. Parents should keep a proper check on the type of content their kids are exposed to because today’s generation learns faster from online media and thus it should be used as a tool to make them watch more queer friendly shows and cartoons such as “She-Ra” so that they learn to be more accepting and inclusive of all people.
• COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILD: At pre-school level, kids of course don’t understand these heavy concepts of gender and sexuality but that does not mean that you don’t acknowledge what and how they feel about themselves. Have a conversation about gender and roles with them every now and then. Try to understand their ideas towards these things and try to be more supportive and non-judgmental of their feelings. Let them know that there are no boundaries because of their gender and it is okay if they like or feel differently towards people or objects.

More than shattering these stereotypes, it is far more important to move beyond them. You should make sure that you make your child realize that their decisions should not be influenced by societal pressure and beliefs. These stereotypes can affect your child in a negative manner and can also drive them towards being unequal and sexist. Being a parent, you certainly don’t want your child to be a problem to the society tomorrow. Let kids be whatever, however and whoever they wish to be and let it be known that them being themselves will not make you love them any lesser. Teach them to step out of the boundaries and grow. Thus, being open minded and practicing equality should be encouraged by parents in and outside of the house for the right development of their child.

By: Drashti Shah

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